Flowers planted by his parents, Rick and Tracy Clark, grow near the gravesite, small flags flutter in the breeze and rows of pennies, a couple nickels, a dime and a quarter line the ledge of the black tombstone.
The coins are left there by military service members as a message to Clark’s family that their son – who was killed 10 years ago next month while on active duty in Afghanistan – is remembered.
A penny would be left by a service member who didn’t have a formal relationship with Ryane but wanted to honor his service and to let his parents know someone was there visiting their son’s grave.
A nickel is left by someone who was in boot camp with the fallen soldier, a dime means they served together in some military capacity and a quarter indicates the visitor to the grave was with the soldier when they died.
Tracy Clark sees every coin that’s left at the grave, which she visits regularly. She usually brings a bucket of water to wash the coins before placing them back on the stone.
Besides being part of military tradition, the coins also served as the inspiration for the title of a children’s book called “A Penny for Ryane” that was written by first-time author and long-time hospice worker Evy Hatjistilianos, as a way to not only honor Clark and his sacrifice to the country, but to also encourage other families who’ve lost a child to share stories of their loved ones so they are not forgotten.
“The book is about keeping Ryane’s name alive and also other military families with huge losses,” said Hatjistilianos, of Spicer.
Working as the volunteer coordinator for 20 years with the Rice Hospice program taught Hatjistilianos about the depth of grief when a parent loses a child and the importance of saying their names and telling their stories so they are remembered in the future.
“I saw the grief that parents go through with the death of a child and the older I became the more I wanted to tell a story with meaning,” she said.
Hatjistilianos said after watching the Clarks “work so hard” over the years to preserve their son’s legacy through a number of projects – like the annual Hero’s Walk that honors other Minnesota soldiers killed during the Operation Enduring Freedom, working to construct a memorial parking lot along the Glacial Lakes Recreation Trail and holding events to raise money for the Ryane Clark scholarship fund for his alma mater, New London-Spicer High School – she contacted them about doing a book on Ryane, who was killed in action Oct. 4, 2010.
Clark was 22 years old when he died.
She interviewed them, listened to them speak at a Memorial Day event and read news stories about Ryane to learn about the former Eagle Scout who chose to serve his country in the military.
Hatjistilianos also interviewed a service member who’d served with Ryane and heard “what a wonderful soldier” he was. “He kept his weapons cleaner than anybody else and he was up earlier than anyone else and he worked out harder than anyone else,” she said.
Seeing the coins on Ryane’s grave helped create the focal point for the book, she said.
Although the 28-page soft-cover book is designed for younger readers, Hatjistilianos said she considers it an “adult book in children’s clothing because there is so much there” that could lead to discussion on topics like post-traumatic stress, military suicide and survivor’s guilt.
“There is so much grief out there,” she said. “Telling their stories is part of the healing.”
The Clarks said they believe the book will help other soldiers who are coming home from service and may be reluctant to tell their own stories, and it’ll help the families of soldiers who are grieving for their child who didn’t come home alive.
While it’s still difficult to understand why Ryane was “taken from us,” Rick Clark said their family is focusing on helping others “who’ve been where we’ve been.” He said they’ve talked to people who’ve recently lost a child and are “in the fog like we were” and they’ve talked to people who’ve “been on this journey a lot longer than we have.”
“If we can help just one person by doing this, it fills our hearts,” said Tracy Clark.
The book is illustrated by Hatjistilianos’ 14-year-old great-niece, Sascha Thorson, in original color pencil drawings. The budding artist said she enjoyed depicting Ryane’s life and his family in the simple, expressive and colorful drawings.
A song for Ryane
In collaboration with with Hatjistilianos, Dan Kallevig of rural Sunburg wrote an original song called “A Penny for Ryane.”
Kallevig said his one regret is that he never met Ryane, but said writing the song “was a way to really get to know him” and see “what a true servant he was.”
Part of the lyrics say:
A penny, nickel, quarter, dime,
Tokens of respect and time.
Remember when you visit there,
And leave one with a thought and prayer.
A great-nephew of Hatjistilianos, Ethan Werder, has produced a music video of the song.
One thousand books have been printed and will be available for sale next week at the Mill Pond Mercantile in New London and can be ordered online through a Facebook page called A Penny for Ryane that goes live Sept. 12.
Hatjistilianos will do a book signing 10 a.m. to 12 p.m. Sept. 12 at Paisley Threads in New London and she’ll have books for sale 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. Sept. 19 during the Ryane Clark scholarship fundraiser at the New London American Legion.
A portion of the $12 cost of the book will go to Gold Star Family events and the “We Honor Veterans Program” with Carris Health - Rice Hospice that honors the service of veterans who are in hospice.
Inquiries can also be sent to
apennyforryane@gmail.com
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