”How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.”
To these immortal words about love from Elizabeth Barrett Browning can be added these words of love by Ludlow author Kathy J. Picard: “I love you so much that …”
It’s the title of her new children’s book that was a lifelong dream of hers.
“I wanted to write and publish the book that should have been read to me before my experience unfolded,” she said, referring to childhood sexual abuse. “Children are more inclined to connect the dots when more information is made available to them. The unknown that causes fear — talking about or reading about personal safety removes that fear and begins the conversation that should continue throughout our lives,” she said. “If we start early concerning other important necessities like doctor’s check-ups and the concept of sharing —why put off teaching a child about staying safe …? Sharing those concepts often and early helps build a strong foundation of trust.”
Picard is a self-employed child safety advocate and owner of Lake Town Publishing LLC, publisher of the book.
“No one knows the full effect of childhood sexual abuse trauma like a survivor,” she said. “The one thing we know is what wasn’t there that we so desperately needed. Whether it’s spoken, or read or shown — the victim needs to feel that they matter, have worth and are loved and cared for. Every time they are violated, they are shown (and maybe told) they are worthless, they don’t matter and that love is about the perpetrator’s desire.”
Picard wrote a story that clearly explains basic concepts that communicate their worth, that they matter and how love behaves.
“Almost everyone has someone in their life that acts as a beacon of hope, and for me it was my special Aunt Judi,” she explained. “She was the light on my path when I thought there was no way through the dark. She was instrumental not only in my survival but is the reason I learned to keep pushing forward to seek something better.”
As soon as children are able to talk, Picard recommends parents begin telling their children to be cautious of adults who might harm them. “Just like parents teach children to stay away from mean dogs, they need to educate on strangers. Saying ‘No’ is OK to do when they are in a harmful situation,” she said. “Most don’t like to talk about the subject of perpetrators but this day in age we need to.”
Picard has told her story in “Life with My Idiot Family A True Story of Survival, Courage and Justice over Childhood Sexual Abuse,” written with her husband of 24 years, Gary.
“My book documents my experience to show all survivors that above all else, they are not alone,” she said. “Second, it proves that having been traumatized is not a death sentence if they can find their voice, speak their truth and hold those responsible accountable. It is a roadmap of one journey, but written as an invitation for anyone else who is on the same path so they may continue until they arrive at a healing place.”
This looks different to every survivor, she added, but acceptance, growth, courage and self-love are the common threads to healing from one of life’s most horrific experiences.
Picard’s newest book is for 3-10-year-olds to teach them “the why’s” — common things in their lives that they should do and the reasons.
“It helps initiate the answer to why a child may be asked to brush their teeth or to go outside or to go to bed at a certain time. It’s part of the framework to build this story,” she said. “‘Why’ or ‘How Come?’ is a universal reply from a child when asked to do something they don’t quite understand and/or enjoy. The story’s structure lets a reader/listener know the reason behind a parent or guardian’s request, to help them understand how love has substance, responsibility, expectations — all with positive outcomes. It hopefully starts a visual dialogue that begins an understanding about caring for oneself and others and what that looks like.”
A Springfield native who graduated from the former Cathedral High School in 1981, Picard has worked in the travel and insurance industries and received numerous awards for her advocacy work including The William Pynchon Award, Magi & John Bish Missing Children’s Award, Founders Day Award friom Quaboag Valley Zonta Club and Unsung Heroine Award from the Massachusetts House of Representatives.
Picard presents at colleges, hospitals, correctional facilities, daycare centers and book clubs.
“I love you so much that …” is available in paperback and hard cover. It has 40 pages and retails for $8.95 through Amazon, $18.95 through Barnes and Noble and $49.95 through Bridgeport Bindery (expanded and signed collector’s edition). The illustrator is D. Louise Nicholson, of Ashfield.
Staff at Palmer, Chicopee and St. John the Baptist School in Ludlow have invited Picard to read the children’s book to their students or place the book in the schools.
For more information: Kathychildadvocate@gmail.com.
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